13 On 13

I was joined by Nadia Kirk via Zoom from her home in Los Angeles, California to talk about working in the entertainment industry, the importance of asking for help, and Rugrats.

Nadia Kirk: Long time no see!

Frankie Becerra: I know!

NK: How’s it going? Like what has been going on? It’s been what, ten years?

FB: Yeah it’s been a minute.

NK: That’s so wild.

FB: Well thank you for doing this.

NK: Always! Anytime, it was a great idea and I’m so for it given that we probably won’t be able to do this in person, so yeah always down and game.

FB: Awesome, so are you good with getting right into some of these questions I’ve got for ya?

NK: Bring it on (laughs).

FB: Alright, so what’s one way that you’ve changed since high school?

NK: Wow… honestly, I would say the biggest one is maturity, you know? I’ve totally grown up I guess you could say. I think back to like things or moments in high school where I’ll look back on it today and I’ll just be like “What was I thinking?” or “Why did I think that was a good idea?” or “Why did I say that?”. It just goes to show how our brains are not at all even close to being developed in high school. We do crazy things, we say crazy things not really thinking it through. So I guess like now in my life I’m obviously more mature, I obviously think through things more. Like I take a beat before I say anything before I do anything. Yeah, I would say the biggest thing is maturity, and just that I’ve gotten wiser and smarter obviously throughout the years. I still continue to learn and grow, but there’s more room for that now. I feel like in high school we’re just kind of in our bubble with not much going on outside of that bubble. So yeah that’s what I would say.

FB: Alright awesome, love that. So what’s something that you’ve accomplished in the last ten years that you’re proud of?

NK: Well I would say the biggest one was finally moving out to Los Angeles. It has been my dream since I was seven years old to move out here. It took me a while though. Like post-college, it took me like three years to work and save money to make the big move. So I would think that’s like one of my biggest accomplishments like finally moving out, moving far too. It’s not like I just moved down the street from my family. It was a trip for sure. It took me I think five days to get here. Did it by myself, I just did the road trip by myself. Of course, I was like in the talks to have people come with me or even my mom come with me but it just didn’t work out so I made the move by myself. I got situated and started to get acclimated. But yeah even in high school I was thinking this was always the plan. The end goal was to move out here. I was gonna do it right after I graduated college but some things got in the way and it just felt like moving out here was always getting delayed. That kind of made me think like “Oh my god is this ever really gonna happen? Should I reconsider?” but I stuck with it. And ironically moving here during covid was the best time for me. I finally had all the savings, and the quarantine got lifted, so I was like alright I think it’s time to head on out there to pursue my dreams. So I think yeah that’s my biggest accomplishment so far.

FB: I definitely feel that. I just moved down to the city earlier this year after years of trying to save up and do it and job after job trying to pay stuff off and finally made it.

NK: And you’re in New York City?

FB: Yeah I’m in Brooklyn.

NK: Oh cool, I grew up in Brooklyn!

FB: No way!

NK: Yeah for most of my childhood I grew up in Bay Ridge.

FB: Oh ok, I’m in Flatbush.

NK: Cool! That’s awesome I love Brooklyn, miss it all the time. Brooklyn’s a good spot. It’s like not as- I mean it’s still expensive in Brooklyn but it’s not like Manhattan expensive.

FB: (brokely) Yeah exactly.

NK: Good for you.

FB: Thank you, I’ve been loving it so far.

NK: Awesome.

FB: So what is something you hope to accomplish in the next ten years?

NK: Ooh… in the next ten years… in the next ten years I would like to be more established career-wise. I’m doing casting right now, and I feel a little established in that but you know it comes and goes. It’s not really like a full-time gig, it’s more seasonal so there are shows that are coming and going, which stresses me out because there are constant layoffs and all of that. But what I would like is to be more established in it, and have a bigger role. I’m at the very bottom right now, casting assistant, but I would like to get up there and work my way up so it doesn’t have to be seasonal where I am constantly working, calling the shots, making the moves. Definitely want a bigger paycheck in the next ten years so I can live on my own. I have a roommate and I’m always fantasizing about just living by myself in a nice place with a dog and just… in ten years I want to feel good about where I am in life. I go through moments now where I’m not happy about it or I am happy about it, but in ten years I want to feel ok. Like “ok we’re here, nothing is changing and it’s just going to keep on getting better from there”.

FB: Yeah I get that, as someone who’s also, on a different level, but similarly in the industry I definitely know what you mean about the fickleness of when the opportunities come at you.

NK: It’s so fickle, like, what’s today, Saturday? I just got laid off yesterday from a show.

FB: I got laid off last week!

NK: (Jaw drops) Rea- ok so what are you doing?

FB: I was writing for The US Sun which is a news organization.

NK: Oh my god! So why did they lay you off?

FB: Budget I guess.

NK: Budget yeah. Ok, so we’re kind of in the same boat. Yeah, and I knew this was going to happen. This date of when we’re gonna be done with this particular show I’ve had that, I’ve known about it, but it still came to me like a shock. I was like “Oh my god I didn’t prepare” then those thoughts come in where it’s like “Oh my god I should have saved way more money for this”. So it just kind of stinks because I think the next show I could potentially be on is in June, but it’s still a month of just kind of waiting around. They never know when shows are gonna start up again. I’m always texting like “Hey is there any show you guys can put me on in the meantime?” They’re like “I don’t know. We don’t know yet. We’re still figuring out dates.” So it’s just the back and forth of it, so in ten years I do not want this to be the case. Like I want it to be a full-time, established kind of thing.

FB: Definitely.

NK: Well I’m glad to know there’s other people out there in the same boat.

FB: Yeah man it’s rough right now. Especially with the (WGA) strike and everything.

NK: Yeah!

FB: I can only imagine how that’s affecting you on a production side of things.

NK: Right, well thankfully, I mean it affects everything. Thankfully though we do more unscripted tv so it’s not like the biggest issue, but it’s an issue trying to find other jobs. I’m trying to get into another casting company and most of them do scripted tv. I even was talking to this girl on LinkedIn and she was like “I don’t think anything’s gonna be open for a while”

FB: I agree.

NK: So it’s a bit of a rough time right now.

FB: Yeah it’s a mess.

NK: Gosh. Why did we choose this industry? (laughs)

FB: Because we unfortunately had dreams and were told to follow them

NK: Exactly. Exactly, well I’m still gonna do it you know? It’s not enough for me to give up you know what I mean?

FB: Yeah I feel that.

NK: It’s just a hurdle that you just have to get over and I like to think that hopefully in ten years the struggles now are going to be worth it for the years after that.

FB: Absolutely that’s the attitude you gotta have.

NK: Always, or I’ll fall into a deep spiral (laughs).

FB: I have been there my friend.

NK: Yeah.

FB: So what, if anything, do you miss most about high school? And it’s ok if the answer is nothing.

NK: Ok, let me see… I guess I mean you know I do miss having a larger group of friends. Adulthood can get pretty isolating, especially in big cities. So what I miss is having a group of your people and doing innocent stuff like sleepovers, and watching movies. That’s all we kind of knew in high school, I mean I wasn’t a big partier in high school. Which was by choice, I wasn’t really into parties or doing wild crazy things. I just wanted to get with my group at the end of the day and like we would either go see a movie, go ice skating, roller skating, sleepover, stay up until 4 am. So I guess just having more of a social group, and knowing that they’re always there, having that connection of going to school. The reason I say that is because I work from home so the positions I’ve had are fully remote. I get no social stimulation from going to work and bonding with coworkers, and then eventually that leads to a friendship like you go out after work or whatever. So social stimulation and people are what I’m really missing and what’s gotten taken away from me by working remotely. I mean I have you know a few groups of friends here and there, but I miss like the “group group”, you know? Like a solid, you’ve got your five closest friends in high school and that’s your clique kind of, I guess a clique. So I do miss having a group and “cliqueiness”. Yeah, that’s what I would say I really miss.

FB: Yeah I think the desire for that dynamic, that kind of community aspect is definitely something that gets kind of yanked out from us and we don’t even realize it.

NK: Community, yeah. Right, that’s the perfect word for it. I crave community again. I’m out here by myself, with no family, it took me a while to just make one friend out here so it takes a long time. But then through various jobs, I’ve met people and have gotten close but you know we don’t see each other all the time or hang out all the time. Other than that it’s really hard to make friends, like new friends, people who will allow you into their space and into their group, in a big city. So that sense of community is what I miss. In high school, we’re all bonded and we’re shedding the same blood, sweat, and tears over Mr. LoAlbo’s 20-page essay on The Catcher in the Rye so we’re all in that together. So a sense of community is what I miss.

FB: Yeah I know I feel like I have to stop myself sometimes and be like “Am I actually friends with this person, or do I just go to the restaurant they work at a lot?”

NK: (Laughs) Right, exactly. Totally agree.

FB: So do you think that you left high school prepared for the next phase of your life?

NK: No, definitely not. I think back and I’m like god I wish they taught us… the transition from high school to college I was not prepared for. It just kind of happened very quickly, you know one minute you’re graduating high school and then oh my god you’re moving into a dorm room away from your parents for the first time. I don’t think I was prepared for that at all. I mean academically I felt I was getting prepared to just get into college, but socially and mentally no. It took some time. My first year of college was not the best year at all. Out of the four years that was the worst year. I felt like I was always depressed, I didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t know how to find that community. But I don’t think, I don’t know if you can ever prepare, I don’t know how you can prepare for a transition like that. I think it just needs to happen, and then you learn as you go. It’s like of course we all knew we were going to college, and we’re gonna miss our friends, but then- I was the last one to leave for college. Like, my school started much later than everybody else’s, so I was just seeing all of my friends slowly but surely just leave me and abandon me and everything so I was not prepared for that. I had a couple of meltdowns like (crying) “Oh my god this is it, this is happening. We’re becoming adults”. But that was high school to college, but I do think college did help me with the next step. I grew up, I learned more. So that transition was a little bit smoother.

FB: That’s good. I definitely- freshman year of college I think universally might be one of those roughest patches for a lot of people. I know for me it definitely was.

NK: Oh it was awful, I was sleeping until 3pm, had no purpose, not even sure what I wanted to study.

FB: Yeah same.

NK: And that changed a lot throughout college so there was growth and changes going on, but it was rough that first year. I was like “Oh my god I don’t know what’s going on.” But thankfully it did get better.

FB: Exactly, we made it through.

NK: We did make it through, thank god (laughs).

FB: So if you could change one thing about your time in high school knowing what you know now, what would you change?

NK: I wish I would have studied more, or took academics seriously. I was thinking to myself like during college years with how hard those courses are I was like oh my gosh, if I had just studied a little bit harder, because you know high school wasn’t really that hard when we think about it, I would say to myself like oh my god I could’ve gone to an Ivy League if I had just studied a little bit harder, took my academics a little more seriously, not that I didn’t take them seriously but if I had just tried a little bit more… I think it could’ve been better for me. Also being a little bit more involved I would’ve changed as well. I was not involved in anything, not a whole lot of clubs, not a whole lot of extracurriculars, which… I wish I was more of a voice in high school. I kinda was just in the corner you know like whatever. I wish I was more of a figure in high school if that makes sense.

FB: I get that.

NK: And not so closed minded too, I wish I would’ve opened up my mind a little more to possibilities, asking for help more, using our teachers as a resource. I never did, but they do what they do to help and guide students and I wish I took more advantage of that.

FB: Yeah I think the asking for help aspect is a really big thing that I think some people don’t even realize, myself included definitely, that it can sometimes be a struggle to ask for help even if you need it. I know that I’ve kind of dealt with that stubbornness of like “Oh I’ll just figure it out, I can figure it out. I’ve done similar things before, I’ll be able to do this”. And that led to me not performing to the ability that I probably could have.

NK: Exactly, because if you had just asked for help one time that could have shaped your life or who you are so differently.

FB: And even if that one wasn’t the game changer it could’ve shown you that this is what asking for help can do for you.

NK: And they always say like people have this stigma that asking for help is weak, myself included I’m like “No I don’t want any help, I’m independent, I can do it all on my own”, but I get myself into a real tizzy sometimes, and in the workplace they’re always like “Ask for help, there are no stupid questions” but I cant help but feel like “I don’t know this question I have might be really stupid” and so I don’t want to ask anything. Or I’ll text a coworker and be like “Hey can you ask, I’m afraid to ask, can you ask what we’re doing for blah blah blah?” and she’ll say the same thing she’s like “Oh I don’t want to ask, I’m scared to ask” and I just think we shouldn’t be so scared to ask.

FB: I always kind of think, and now this is an opinion that I have developed, I’m kind of at a point where I think I would rather be the person that asks for help than the person that just tried to figure it out because, and maybe this is just in my mind, but I feel like it almost looks better to be the person that cares enough to ask to make sure that they’re doing it right instead of being the person that did it wrong because they didn’t want to appear one way or the other.

NK: Exactly because then it looks really bad on you. It’s like how they say “never assume because it makes a fool out of you and me”. And I agree I’d rather just get over myself and ask a question so I don’t mess anything up. It’s just part of clear communication with everything honestly; career, relationships, friendships, you have to be willing to ask because how else will you know anything? So I agree.

FB: I like to joke that communication is so important to me I got a whole degree in it.

NK: (Laughs) Right! Right, I like that.

FB: Thank you.

NK: It’s true, communication, we’re nothing without it so might as well use it. We have a mouth

FB: So we’ve kind of alluded to this in one way or another, but as a member of the class of 2013, do you have any advice that you would give to the class of 2023, the current seniors, as they enter this next phase of their lives?

NK: Wow, wow wow. Ask more questions for sure. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. And you’re not gonna have it all figured out right away, and you have to be comfortable with that. It might feel uncomfortable if you don’t know where you’re going or you don’t know what you’re going to be studying… you’re not gonna have it all figured out but it comes through time. And you have to accept and allow that process, and just know that, not to be cliche, but the universe is working in your favor, there are other things going on in the background. I would appreciate “the slow” too. There might be a stalemate in your life or a difficult time where you feel stuck, but I would appreciate that stuck feeling and that slowness because you learn a lot when in a stuck position. And just know that it’s only temporary, everything is temporary, you know? Thoughts, feelings, emotions, unsureness about the future, it’s all temporary but you do figure it out in your head during those slow moments. For me I like to be constantly moving and doing things to just distract me from thoughts, feelings, being unsure about a lot of things, but someone told me to appreciate “the slow” and the downtime and I would say that person was absolutely right, and that’s what I would tell someone who’s graduating high school now. You’re not gonna have it all figured out overnight but it will come and just appreciate what’s going on in the present, don’t stress too much about the future just focus on you currently and what you can do presently.

FB: Right, I like that. So speaking of the current high schoolers, do you think you would rather be a high schooler right now, or in the early 2010s when we were there?

NK: I think… I would still be a high schooler when we were in high school. We kind of were at that border of when technology and social media just started to blow up. But I still feel like we had a really great high school and that we spent time outdoors and we weren’t so fixated on our phones as much as how people are right now. I don’t think I would want to be in high school right now because I think to myself “What are high schoolers doing these days for fun that does not revolve around the phones and social media?” I think we were at a good time where we still got to experience a classic high school life mixed in with being outdoors and doing fun activities like mini golfing, just always open to go out and do things. But now times have changed I feel like technology has robbed a lot of kids of a childhood that we had. As a kid I was always outdoors with my scooter just scooting around being outdoors because we didn’t have all this crazy technology and social media so I do feel like we had it good. We were in a good year because it was right on the cusp of not having social media to all of the sudden it coming in but we were still like “Well what’s this? I don’t know how to use Instagram or Facebook”. For me Facebook was starting to get popular when we were in seventh grade. But yeah no I think I liked the year that we were in. It was a good balance between being present with people and also having social media all of the sudden start to come up. I would take when we were in high school over being in high school right now.

FB: I think a big part of that too is that the phones that we had then, it was like we were just starting to get that smartphone technology and even then the most they were able to do was like Angry Birds and Twitter.

NK: Exactly, or like Temple Run.

FB: And so meanwhile you could do your entire curriculum on your phone right now in high school pretty much. The machinery itself is extremely different in the time since we’ve been there.

NK: That’s so true I mean you don’t even have to go to school now with Zoom. And what was sad is when Covid hit my siblings were seniors at Brewster High School so unfortunately they had to do the rest of the year via Zoom and they were robbed of a traditional graduation. It wasn’t like how we graduated. We all kind of were in the cars in the parking lot watching their faces pop up on a big screen so I kind of felt sad that that’s how they experienced their last year and their graduation. I remember our graduation as if it was yesterday, it was just the best time ever.

FB: Yeah me too.

NK: And I remember how emotional I was and I’m thinking “Oh my god this is so cool”… and it’s hard to say too because I don’t know how high schools are nowadays. I think it’s just so different, very technology based. It’s like do they even play outside anymore at the playground during lunch? Or do they just go into another room and hop on an iPad or something? I remember in high school, or maybe it was middle school, there was that time where during lunch period everyone was just going out to like the basketball courts and hanging around.

FB: That was middle school.

NK: And when the weather was finally nice people really took advantage of the sunshine and the outdoor time. It was a good time to be in high school I think.

FB: Alright so our last one, we’ll end on a fun one, I think they’ve all been fun though.

NK: Oh they have, it’s been really great so far.

FB: Thank you. So one thing our high school never did, at least when we were there, was senior quotes. What would yours have been if you had one?

NK: Oh my god, senior quotes!

FB: Or do you have one that you like now that you would have retroactively chosen?

NK: Hmm… wow that’s a really good one. (Laughs) “Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you from winning the game” as cliche as it is, it’s just so true though. It kind of connects back to what we were saying like don’t be afraid to ask for help. If this could be a life changing moment for you don’t let the fear of asking for help or asking questions get in the way of the bigger picture here. So as, I know people use that quote all the time, it did just come to me, but I do like it and I do think it speaks truth to everyone. Especially to people going through a transition you know, graduating high school, going into their next phase or college it’s just… don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid, just do it, just go out there and give it all you got. It’ll be worth it in the long run.

FB: I love that.

NK: Yeah.

FB: Well before we finish up, do you have any questions for me?

NK: Umm…

FB: It’s ok if you don’t.

NK: (Laughs) I guess what would be a quote for you?

FB: So I was actually holding out hope that we were gonna do them senior year and so I still have the one- well so I had a couple in mind and I spoke at our graduation and I used a quote in that speech and I remember I was going back and forth between two different quotes that I liked to use in the speech, and I ended up in my opinion choosing the wrong person to quote.

NK: (Gasps) Oh no.

FB: Because the person I, or the quote I didn’t go with was from Mewtwo from the first Pokémon movie, and I decided maybe not for a graduation speech.

NK: Right.

FB: But in hindsight and knowing what we know now I actually made the worse choice by choosing to quote Bill Cosby.

NK: (Laughs) No!

FB: Mewtwo at least got redeemed by the end of the movie.

NK: Exactly, oh my gosh.

FB: But the quote that I would’ve used had we put them in the yearbook would have been “A baby’s gotta do what a baby’s gotta do” from one Tommy Pickles from Rugrats.

NK: I love that. Rugrats was my thing when we were little. It was my favorite show ever. A baby’s gotta do what a baby’s gotta do. I like that.

FB: It’s true and I don’t even mean like “You have to got get a job” or “You have to go to college” or whatever. I mean sometimes you just gotta get out of bed, and it’s gonna be tough.

NK: Exactly, but you just gotta do it.

FB: And you’re not always made aware of that but you know what that’s ok. And it’s normal. And you just gotta power through maybe the next time will be better.

NK: That is so… it’s so true I mean I do have moments where I’m like “I don’t want to face the day, oh my gosh, it’s just another manic Monday, lousy day” but I think the biggest thing you can do at the start of your day is just get up. Get out of bed. That’s the first step. Then do something rewarding but small, make your bed in the morning, go finish up those dishes that you’ve had in your sink for the past couple of days, do small little task to get you out of whatever but also give you a sense of routine and a schedule to help split the day up so you’re not trapped in whatever thoughts. But the first thing you have to do: just get out of bed. And you’re already winning the day when you get out of bed.

FB: Yeah exactly.

NK: And to cherish that. You don’t know if you’re gonna be able to wake up the next day, not to be morbid but you just don’t know. So cherish waking up every single day and just get out of bed and do it.

FB: Well Nadia thank you again so much for your time and your willingness to participate.

NK: This is awesome. It was so good to see someone from high school after all these years. Thank you for thinking of me to do this, I had a lot of fun and you know, let’s do it again ten years from now.

FB: I’m in. And if you want when we’re done with this I can send you a short that I acted in last year just in case you need it for casting.

NK: Oh! Please do! You never know!

FB: I gotta plug myself somehow

NK: You do! You do, so you know you have me in your corner. Definitely send me everything, it’ll be good to see other people’s content.

FB: Awesome, well I’ve got plenty.

(This interview has been edited for length and clarity)